Had such a funny night last night watching random Jeremy Paxman and Russell Howard clips with D. Proper happy times, all my favourite people all in one with a cup of tea thrown in for good measure. Could it get much better? Woke up today with another bloody headache but a strange excitement to go and get porridge and jam with D. It seems to be the perfect choice for breakfast right now, mind you, anything with jam is kind of working for me right now! Took a trip to the Thackray Medical Museum with D this afternoon. I have no idea why I subjected myself to the hour and a half of fear of walking around that place. It seriously gives me the creeps – especially the ‘walk through’ exhibition of the streets of Leeds in the 1800′s. Absolutely terrifying. Of course, D was being all manly and had no fear until he heard a noise up ahead and jumped back about..hmmm a mile or so. To be completely honest, he’s a LOT braver than me. I’ll probably start meowing soon.

Decided to come home this evening and surprised the parents. I’ll be working tomorrow so it’s just as well really. Had a conversation with my mum about a medium she used to see and I feel quite lost about events that have happened. The medium told her that I’d meet the person who was meant to be my husband but unknowingly, my lifestlye would drive him away. She said he wouldn’t be able to keep up to the cash and expenses and would feel inferior and end up distancing himself from me. She said I’d end up wrecking my whole future if I didn’t learn these lessons now and cut back on everything I buy. I wish I’d have been told of this sooner but it’s all very good advice. I do need to cut back. A lot. Starting from tomorrow. I think I’ll make a trip to see the medium too – I could do with some spiritual guidance.

I had the best drive back home this evening. I actually listened to Desmond Carrington on BBC Radio 2 whilst eating strawberry bon bons and had a lovely time all by myself in the pouring rain…was even happier when I arrived home to find my new ‘Happy Honey’ Lancome Juicy Tube and a few surprises from Lush including a ‘Shimmy Shimmy’ bar and ‘Sugar Babe’ scrub. Bath time just got even more fun!

I feel like all my body is slowly turning into a happy, fizzy jelly. I feel quite relaxed and mellow. To say I’ve had nasty news this week, I can honestly say with my hand on my heart, that this has been the best week in such a long time. I’ve had the best company I could wish for and all the kindness I’ve needed. There comes a time when you realise who really matters in your life and the direction to where your efforts and emotions should be pointed in. I’ve definitely found the one.

I’m sure I must have possibly been a dog in my past life. With the amount of walks I go on lately it seems all I’m missing is a collar and lead. But I’ll leave that for the bedroom.

Had my first session at the gym with D and found it pretty damn good. I seem to attract all the strange men like bees to honey. Was sat waiting for D to come out of the changing room and got into ‘conversation’ with the strange foreign man who was bossing the gym. Imagine if you will, a version of Spike from Notting Hill. The ‘nice firm buttocks and yogurt that’s actually mayonnaise’ type…and you have an idea of this character. He was chatting some random shit to me about water and fountains so I took to carefully studying my Lancome Juicy Tube and trying to avoid eye contact at all costs. I knew serious shit had gone down when D walked out of the changing room and commanded: “Lets go! Quicker! Faster!” Awh dear, it must be pretty embarrassing to have a cleaner pry your locker open because you set the code wrong on your new padlock…

Had a lovely morning/afternoon in uni today listening to one of my favourite lecturers let off steam about everything and anything. Students, Election, Parking, Marking…you name it. Actual legend. Decided to take pity on myself after returning home and tackling the mountain of washing up in the kitchen. Sat down with an Earl Grey, Champagne Truffles, ‘How to walk in high heels’ by Camilla Morton and Will & Grace. Perfect…that was until a nasty nutty taste invaded my mouth. It just so happens that I have a severe allergy to all nuts so you can imagine my utter panic upon the little blighter finding it’s way into my throat. After a mad dash to the sink, the downing of milk and the intake of allergy tablets I decided I was not going to die on this occasion. So now I’m left with a rather raw throat and a strong disliking to Thorntons mixed packets of Paris Continentals. Oh who am I kidding…

Am currently sat reading up on the news and painting my nails in preparation for another little jaunt with D into Ilkley. It’s a good job we’re not walking anywhere anymore as the heavens have opened and the rain is pouring down. We were meant to be taking a trip to Betty’s Tea Rooms but with their closure at 5 and D ‘da boss’ and his workload, it shall have to wait until another time. I love rainy days like this. I cannot wait to finally get sat down in a quiet corner in a cosy warm pub and just look out onto the pretty view. I’ve been having such a lovely time lately, I feel like my body is starting to heave a sigh of relief and relax and just enjoy being around and soaking up the atmosphere. Went to Boutique and The Rock Bar Ibiza Leeds with D last night and my god…I think I died a little and went to heaven. I’m glad I’ve now found two new places that are perfect for sitting and chilling out with a damn sexy cocktail where nobody will even care to bother you. It’s nice to find a dark little candle lit corner at times to just sit and reflect in. I don’t think I’ve laughed at D so much in such a long time. I sometimes think I might actually die with laughing it gets that painful. A happy death by all accounts.

I’m trying to get back into the whole Latino vibe and go do some Salsa classes yet again. I think I need to fire that passion up in my life again and this is the perfect way to go. Especially with summer just around the corner (or is it?) and hot, steamy nights ahead (I hope!)

Anyway, I was hoping to write some deep, meaningful sonnet but to be completely honest, I feel too cosy and comfortable today to be in a melancholic mood. I don’t actually feel like I need to understand my feelings through the medium of writing. Especially now things have been realised and concerns and issues have been spoken of. I feel much lighter and somewhat content, like I have possibly moved up a tiny level? Could it be that I have somehow reached a ‘happy place’ for today? Maybe it was the porridge and jam this morning…or maybe it was the good nights sleep…or maybe it was just Mr Paxman? One shalt never know…

I’m beginning to think that everybody where I live is a little mentally retarded. It really is not good etiquette to stand in front of a lady and shout at the top of ones voice, “LOOK AT THE TITS ON THAT!” It is even more socially unacceptable to then begin woofing and howling like a dog on heat. Good job I was carrying a clipboard to slowly place across my chest to block the strange wolf mans view of my cans…the dirty dog.

Also saw a rather funny scene play out:
Tantastic girl running up to doorman: “Ay up cock! Did tha miss me?!”
Doorman: *muttered under breath* “Like a dose of clap…” *Looks up and beams* “Hiya love! Certainly did!”

Oh gosh. Not a nice thing to be likened to!

It seems to go from one perverted extreme to another – walking into McDonalds last night with D in search of a cup of tea, we passed two guys in the doorway. One took a good hard look at me then looked at D and sniggered, “You’ll be disappointed in the morning!” How rude! Ones ego could be thoroughly deflated by such a cutting comment like that. I know I had a headache but come on – did I really look so grotesque?

I should have taken a leaf out of CS’s book when asked to ‘get her rat arrrt’ and turned around with a, “Are tha £*%&$@* direspecting me?! Who are you to disrepect…ME!!!!” Ah, hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Had a BBQ last night with the girls but retired early to go back home. Started with the most horrible headache ever and the little blighter was still present when I woke up this morning. Still, managed to get to my gym induction with D and was a little cheered up by the fact that our instructor looked the double of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Nice times were had by all.

Made the trip home to see a doctor once again this afternoon about my headaches and fainting spells but I’m still no further forward. It’s so frustrating. I’m in one of those moods where I feel desperately sorry myself and want nothing more than plenty of cuddles, a nice film and cups of tea. I want to know exactly what’s going on now and I’m sick of being in limbo about something so nasty. Sometimes, it comforts you so much to hear somebody say that they promise you’ll be alright along with a loooong cuddle. Can I have that again now please?

Had unfortunate news yesterday so spent the night catching up with the girls and having a lovely meal cooked for me by B. It was a pretty good night full of laughs and Malibu. Sometimes it’s nice to try and forget everything for a little while and play a bit of ‘make believe.’ Woke up this morning to a snoring fluffy ball of cuteness next to me (and I don’t mean K). No, it was her gorgeous doggie, M. She’s so adorable, it was her ninth birthday yesterday so the girls made a big fuss of her and gave her a day full of pampering.

I spent the day today trying to concentrate to get on with some uni work but it didn’t work so I decided to change the pace and went food shopping. It always seems to work for me, I can get engrossed in the aisles full of different foods I’ve never even seen before. I came away with an assortment of baking goods, a new jam jar, dessert glasses and lots of lovely strawberries.

Was especially excited to come across an Italian food market in town and spent a good half hour wandering around the stalls and being greeted with chants of ‘Bonjourno senorita bella!’ Awh, how nice. The Italians on the stalls were speaking to us and saying how upset they were that not many people were buying their gorgeous foods. My dad replied with…”People round here have a job on to part with wind.” He’s so eloquent is my dad…

So, the horoscope seems to be scarily accurate yet again for me. I know…I’m so sad for reading it everyday. I suppose it’s one of my guilty pleasures. I have a lot. It said: “You are receiving your share of invitations right now, Pisces, but none of them are coming from the person you need to hear from most. It is time for the both of you to leave the past where it belongs and start your new chapter. The two of you have been through too much to let it go to waste and get between the two of you. If you really want this relationship to be around for the long haul, you’ve got to do some work yourself.” Ah, brilliant…

Have spent the evening watching Heston Blumenthal with his brilliant ‘Feasts’ programmes. I must say, I’m now around ten times more excited to get on with my cooking and baking tomorrow!

The weather is meant to be quite nice tomorrow so I think I’ll get up early to do the baking then spend the day in the garden getting on with my work. Honest! I’ve also decided that I’d like to grow my own herbs back at my house so I think I’ll make a start on that tomorrow too. Oh, to be a domestic goddess…

My Mother really can be a class act at times. Sadly, our Aunty passed away in January this year and all of her mail gets re-directed to our house. Today, we recieved a polling card for her. My Mum wrote a letter to the council to inform them that our Aunty was no longer alive, she wrote:

‘Dear Sir/Madam,

Would you kindly remove Mrs M E B from your records as she sadly passed away this January. Unfortunately, where she is now does not require a vote…God is King.‘

Oh…my…days…

Â

Had a lovely evening with D last night. Decided to cook Thai Sweet Chilli Chicken with rice and a whole lot of extra peppers. Note to self: Chilli Peppers should be approached with caution and should never…ever…come into contact with skin other than that on the hands. Hot hot hot! Ended up going to an acoustic Jazz night afterwards at a local bar. The word mellow doesn’t really do it justice. Imagine an old New York bar full of the poetically scruffy people one would expect to be up all night drinking expressos and hard liquer and writing melancholy lyrics of love and life gone by and you pretty much can see the scene. But imagine that they are that tanked up on strong cider and gin and tonics that they are practically beaming at their tables. The highlight was definitely when a lady (who looked strangely like one of our tutors) came up to our table and started to perform a dance in front of us. We were subjected to several minutes of bopping and gyrating as we both looked at eachother and buried our mouths in our drinks to try and keep from laughing. Good times indeed!

Â

Had a lovely shopping trip with C today and bought a book by the New York writers, Em & Lo. The book is called ‘Nerve’s Guide to Sex Etiquette’. It’s rather interesting really, it states: ‘Do not assume that just because you are in love (or on good behaviour), you cannot have it dirty. The idea that marriage, monogamy or even good manners is the end of dirty, throw-me-against-the-wall, taboo-busting sex is a tired, old myth that you should de-bunk on a regular basis….However, DO ask permission before giving your partner a money shot in the face.’

Oh…true say.

Â

I decided to finish my day on a hot oily bubble bath, a teacup and saucer of Earl Grey and jam on a scone. Perfect!

Today has truly been one of those days where you seem to constantly have that dark little raincloud hanging over your head. The morning started off well with a nice phone call, cup of tea, a newspaper and even a flower in my hair for good measure.

I seem to have made a firm friend with the neighbour’s long haired calico cat. He’s so cute and always seems pleased to see me. As soon as I pulled up outside my house he came running to my car door to say hello, how cute! Spent about ten minutes sat talking to, and stroking him. I wish I could bundle him into the house for cuddles right now, god knows I need some!

I decided that I’d go out and buy everything I needed to make my own Jam. Surely, cooking would drag me out of my sulk, yes? No. Drove to the supermarket to find that I could not withdraw ANY money at all. Funds don’t clear on Sundays you see. So by this point I was having a major paddy – I can’t even make bloody jam for christ sake! Retired back to the house and decided a bit of sleepy time would help improve my mood but that was sorely ruined after I woke up from a nasty nightmare involving a few certain people I care a lot about. So, what to do next? Don the ReeTones and go for a run at my ‘Happy Place’ of course! Only my happy place seems to have turned into a miserable, windy, rainy, choppy mess this evening. Anyway, managed a full lap of the lake without keeling over but did suffer a bout of the old Asthma attack. Ah well, God loves a trier.

So now I’m back to square one and thinking it’s high time I cracked open the coconut hot chocolate, ran a steamy bubble bath and relaxed reading a book.

So, what have I learned from today? That Sunday is definitely a day for breakfast and papers in bed, plenty of loungewear and hot chocolate. Most definitely not a good day to be productive. To quote Russell Baker: “A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.”

I was watching Calendar news tonight and paying particular attention to the story on Nicola Adams. She took up boxing aged 12 and became the first female boxer to win a medal at the World Championships in 2008. The bit that interested me was the local personality that popped up on screen training with her; Fred Gummerson. I went through a pretty big boxing phase and have my own punchbag, gloves and tape and it was this man who sold them to me. I used to visit his boxing shop quite a lot for general chats whilst browsing the stock. He had his own boxing school and when I said I wanted to join, I remember how shocked he was: “Why does a bonnie young lass like you want to come to my gym full of ‘ard lads to box? They’d certainly take a shine to you love – you’d be dead reyt with that lot, they’d look after you.” It brought back some nice memories for me and reminded me of a lot of times I’d forgotten.

So anyway, right now it’s 2am in the morning and my friend has sent me a message asking me if I want to play a game. A game of ‘what would you rather?’ to be precise. I don’t know who is the more insane; him for suggesting it or me for texting back with “Yeah…okay then…” Tut…

I’ve caught up with a few old friends tonight which has been so nice. I find that I do have rather a lot of male friends. I don’t know why this is – it was never this way through school or college…I think I like how direct and straight laced males tend to be. There seems to be a lot less bitching (well, sometimes) and a lot more banter. Don’t get me wrong, I adore the girls in my life and couldn’t be without them but the males really do outnumber them. Oh well, best of both worlds I guess. Just the way I like it.

Have been reading the latest on the Bishop of Liverpool regarding the Hillsborough Disaster. It really is a terrible time to think back on. The Guardian blog reads: “Half an hour into talking to James Jones, the Anglican bishop of Liverpool, about his role as chair of the panel seeking to establish the truth about the Hillsborough disaster, a familiar thought intrudes. It is, along with the other emotions Hillsborough has always provoked “horror, grief, shame, outrage“ one which has only deepened in the years since, as English football has extravagantly rebuilt, hosting its FA Cup semi-finals now at plush, £757m Wembley. The thought is disbelief.”
Such a sad, emotional subject. I really do hope that the unresolved questions are answered and that the families of those involved can reach some sort of closure.

D told me how he was terrorised today by an old lady with a shopper trolley. He was pretty much taken down by Team Bluerinse which I found ever so amusing. And all because of a few chocolate bars too. I was thinking how brutal some of the older generation really are. Watching Nightwatch this evening confirmed my thinking as I watched a ‘Drunk & violent’ seventy-some year old being arrested and escorted out of a cafe in London after abusively ‘demanding food’. She even fell over onto the pavement. Seriously. It’s a complete and utter hoo-ha. I can see the headlines now: ‘Biddies on the Binge’…oh my, whatever next.

Had an amusing afternoon sitting in the kitchen watching my mum prepare lunch for her and my dad. As she busied herself rushing around the kitchen, flinging bits of beef and lettuce all over, my dad followed her round like a blue-arsed fly picking up after her and chuntering:
“I don’t know why your Mother is so messy. She’s the messiest cook I’ve ever met…I should call her Marge because she spreads out all over like margarine….oh look now! Why use one pan when five will suffice?!”

I really did find it ever so funny to just sit back and watch the commotion play out.

Â

I have had a rather lovely evening watching the live Election Debate – particularly the part where Mr Gordon Brown had a lovely smirk and stated, “It’s answer time, David.” I have found it both amusing and interesting viewing and am very much looking forward to the next two.

Decided to make Mulled Wine tonight seen as though I have the house to myself and a hot date with the television and hob. With Tempranillo, Syrah, Merlot grapes, Cinnamon, Clove, Blueberry, Lemon and Nutmeg I have the perfect warming evening drink to keep me company. Oh, and I have Scampi nicely baking in the oven. Good night so far. I may even watch ‘Inglourious Basterds’ to top it off.

I was so bored late last night that I decided to browse through a few facebook profiles. I don’t understand why so many girls have taken to wearing ‘slashed’ leggings. Really, I’m not sure whether they are just too poor to afford a whole pair or had a fight with a Tiger along the way? And slashed leggings with white lipstick is just brutal…I know I’ve whinged about this horrible form of lip abuse before but oh my days, it does grate…

I set my Mother up with her very own facebook account today. I think this should be the perfect time to seal my own account off as a Danger Zone. Have accepted her as a friend and I am now sitting around with gritted teeth waiting for the questioning and severe talking to’s to start. It’s only a matter of time, I guess, until my Mother discovers my spending/drinking/living/sleeping habits and looks on in that disdainful way only your Mother can.

I was introduced to Pink Martini today. And I don’t mean a girly cocktail. I mean as in the musical legends. I have fallen head over heels with an older album of theirs named ‘Hang on Little Tomato.’ And in particular with a song named ‘Lets never stop falling in Love.’ With such gorgeous lyrics on a relaxing undertone with French, Italian, Japanese, Croatian, Spanish and English tracks who could not fall in love?

“I wish a falling star could fall forever, and sparkle through the clouds and stormy weather, and in the darkness of the night, the star would shine a glimmering light. And hover above our love…

Please hold me close and whisper that you love me, and promise that your dreams are only of me. When you are near, everything’s clear, Earth is a beautiful heaven, always I hope that we follow the star, and be forever floating above…”

Think Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s or beguiling French Poetry and a Dirty Martini and you’re there.

I have been thinking a lot about the future today and I really wish that I could go away to Paris for a little while. I’d love to be swept up in the romance, culture and beauty of the City of Love if only for a few days. I think the break would do me ever so good. Like chicken soup for the soul…but what a lonely journey it would be alone. It would be far nicer to visit with my Mr Darcy and stand atop the Eiffel Tower upon the hour in order to see the lights twinkle romantically, feel the butterflies and admire the sea of shining inspiration that is the City. Ah Paris….je t’aime…

Had a discussion with my Mother about how much I wanted to be able to get out and experience beautiful things and be able to vist gorgeous places with a different culture. She told me I needed money to be able to experience that. I told her how wrong she is…why do you need a lump sum when you can drive/walk/take a bus (yes, kidding on that last one!) to a high hill, stand, open your eyes and take in the beautiful surroundings? There are so many places locally with spectacular views of whole towns, and on a sunny day, you can’t beat that sight or feeling. It’s not always about the extravagant gestures…just seeing a happy old couple holding hands in the park, hearing the birds singing in the trees, seeing the daffodils pop up in the sun or simply buying a cupcake can make a huge difference to your heart. I want to experience as many beautiful sights and kind gestures as possible, and I want to do it now. I want to spend a whole day in my kitchen lovingly preparing meals and cakes just to please myself. I want to have that feeling of butterflies and happiness for the rest of my life. I fear that I simply am, just a hopeless romantic at heart…

After waking up and suffering with a bout of Asthma, I decided to watch ‘The Delicious Miss Dahl’. I thought the topic of the week extremely fitting – Melancholy. There was a reading from a letter Sydney Smith wrote to Lady Georgiana on ‘How to cure Melancholy’, this is what he wrote:

Dear Lady Georgiana,

-Nobody has suffered more from low spirits than I have done – so I feel for you.

1st. Live as well as you dare.

2nd. Go into the showerbath with a small quantity of water at a temperature low enough to give you a slight sensation of cold, 75º or 80º.

3rd. Amusing books.

4th. Short views of human life – not further than dinner or tea.

5th. Be as busy as you can.

6th. See as much as you can of those friends who like and respect you.

7th. And of those acquaintances who amuse you.

8th. Make no secret of low spirits to your friends, but talk of them freely – they are always worse for dignified concealment.

9th. Attend to the effects tea and coffee produce upon you.

10th. Dont expect too much from human life – a sorry business at the best.

11th. Compare your lot with that of other people.

12th. Avoid poetry, dramatic representations (except comedy), music, serious novels, melancholy, sentimental people, everything likely to excite feeling or emotion, not ending in active benevolence.

13th. DO GOOD, and endeavour to please everybody of every degree.

14th. Be as much as you can in the open air without fatigue.

15th. Make the room where you commonly sit gay and pleasant.

16th. Struggle little by little against idleness.

17th. Don’t be too severe upon yourself, or underrate yourself, but do yourself justice.

18th. Keep good blazing fires.

19th. Be firm and constant in the exercise of rational religion.

20th. Believe me, dear Lady Georgiana, Very truly yours, – Sydney Smith.

Â

What a lovely letter. I agree with keeping a good blazing fire and attending to the effects tea and coffee produce upon oneself greatly. What a perfect way to spend a self-indulgent, sulking day.

Decided to haul myself out of the ‘big sulk’ by visting the leisure park – here I bought a new perfume Amor Amor and indulged in Sushi for lunch. I find that I always find myself in embarrassing situations – today was one of them. Whilst standing at the meat counter and deciding upon the perfect Chorizo, I felt my feet collapse under me and flaked…oh dear. Never hit the floor in a public place, always try to find a suitable, quiet spot to deck it in.

I always find it amusing being in Yorkshire – simply because of the ‘I don’t care where I am, I’ll say and do what I want, when I want’ attitude. Before the unfortunate above incident, I was queuing in a rather long line in order to pick up my beloved chorizo and stuffed olives and noticed a strange fellow lingering and staring through the customers. I followed his gaze to a plate of ‘Special Cured Pork Pies’ on cocktail sticks ready for taste testing. With a swift broad Yorkshire accent he bellowed, ‘A seh lass!!! Is them poooeeeerk pies on theirye?’ And with an even faster left lunge he had ducked into the queue, swiped several tasters and hot-footed it away again. Oh the joys of a Yorkshire man at feeding time…