I can’t believe how unproductive today has been. I had the best intentions to get up when my alarm rang at the ungodly hour of 7:30 in order to become an essay writing machine. Instead, this happened: Alarm rang, *Dismiss*, I rolled over and went back to dreamland with the puppy under my arm and a disgustingly raspy old man sounding chest.

Had a really sleepless night last night due to watching Paranormal Activity 2 with D. There was a guy behind us who was a little, erm jumpy, during the showing and afterwards stated; “That was the shittiest film I’ve ever seen”…LOL jk you were screaming like a bitch! What really irritates me about cinemas is the fact that you get allocated seats but then find that people sit wherever the hell they like. I had one such imbecile sitting in my seat and when told “You are sat in my seat” the cocky little idiot replied “What’s your seat number?” Mate! The one you are bloody sitting in…EVENING THICKOS!

I feel completely drained today and so down it’s unreal. I feel like I’ve had every door slammed into face then bolted and double locked. Not even eating Jammy Dodgers and watching The only way is Essex managed to cheer me up (I told you it’d been an unproductive day). Speaking of that, I actually love watching Amy Childs! “I think Mark would love your Vajazzle!”
So anyway, today was spent sleeping and getting ready for tonight but that’s irrelevant now anyway. The only helpful thing I managed to do was sort my third of the water bill out and do the washing. Tonight, I’m going to sit here with my pink lemonade and attempt to do some ‘quality’ work (quality gear mate). After all, there’s nothing better to do.

Have you ever had one of those horrible mornings where everything seems to be going terribly wrong and you feel like the rest of the day will be a complete write-off? I had one of those this morning after a sleep deprived night and the remains of a chest infection clinging onto me. I’d spent the night watching re-runs on 4OD and wishing to the stars outside my window to take everything bad away, so I wasn’t in a good frame of mind for a 6am wake up call. Anyway, the minute I saw D I felt instantly better. Isn’t it funny how some people can make you feel that way? You go from feeling so low down and upset to suddenly being as high as a kite. Life is a funny old thing…

So anyway, later on in the evening I’m sitting across from him in a darkened restaurant and all I can think about is how much my breath is taken away when I realise how much I really, truly do care about him. But, as soon as he looks over towards me, I’ll hold his gaze for a second or two before the coward in me takes over and I have to look away before a tear escapes my eye. It’s the best and the worst feeling in the whole world…how can I possibly love somebody so much that they physically take my breath away and make my heart explode into a million glittering pieces? How can I love somebody this much yet be so afraid to even look into their eyes for too long? I wish I could take everything away that’s ever made him sad and everything that’s troubling him right now. If I could, I’d store it all away into a box tied with a pretty red ribbon and send it floating away on a balloon up into the stars where it would never return. If I could, I’d make everything better in a single smile.

Today, something changed…

Had a good morning shopping with D. I swear he’s worse for shopping than I am – I’m still not over the fact that we spent a good half hour in Leeds last week in the Next store debating over work shirts for him to decide he’d order them online instead. After an hours fannying around online when we arrived home (and demanding coffee and ice cream), he decided to come back to it later to realise he’d lost his page on the internet, therefore deciding he could not be bothered to make the purchases anymore. Saw a Next store today, and was his Lordship bothered about popping in? No, no of course not…

Definitely worse than us ladies when it comes to the shopping savvy tirade.