How the heck can you still be miserable when you have a perfectly chilled glass of champagne along with a Frappuccino Mousse on the side waiting to be devoured? Goodness knows but it’s very possible.

I managed to have a good old laugh at Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow on TV though. There’s a guy I know who always, always wears Lacoste shirts and claims they’re “quality gear, mate” (I like your crocodile mate. Wink, wink) anyway, it just so happens that said crocodile was a topic of discussion on the show: “I’m wearing a designer label…I have money that’s why. Look at my crocodile, you don’t have one do you? Do you?! I’m that rich that sometimes………………………………my crocodile plays Polo.”Now, imagine this said in a London/Berkshire accent (apparently that’s what the Reading accent now sounds like according to Paul Kerswill) coming out of a not too dissimilar figure to Peter Kay and you have quite an amusing image.

I also got a laugh out of a conversation from a friend who had been refunded by an online store for £2,400 instead of the mere £24.00 he actually paid for the offending item. It’s been 11 days now and the money is still sitting pretty in his bank account, he thinks that they won’t notice you see. I found it highly amusing as I know he is a big shopper of the Kappa brand. I’m thinking that upon the loss of £2,400 I should say the company would be well and truly bankrupt. You ballsed that one up Mr Refund man didn’t you?!

When I finally talked my parents into getting me the perfect little puppy, I never imagined such a cute little ball of fluff could be so horrendously smelly! Myself and the puppy were casually laid out on the sofa this afternoon watching “Vets in Action”, she was laid over my chest looking all cute and hiccupping then all of a sudden a stench hit me that would be powerful enough to knock Al Murray down to the ground. Good heavens above…where the hell is the puppy spray when you need it?!